Thirteen

In the 1990s, my mother, Mindy, raised my profoundly disabled sister, Becky, and me on her own. Being a single mother of two young daughters—one with significant disabilities—was a constant challenge, marked by societal misunderstanding and daily inaccessibility. Yet, my mom was tireless in her advocacy, especially for Becky. She refused to let the world overlook or dismiss us, sometimes making bold statements—literally—with T-shirts that read, “My sister/daughter is autistic, what’s your problem?” Her mission was clear: to build a more compassionate and inclusive community, not just for Becky, but for all of us.

When Becky turned 13, my mother was determined that she have a Bat Mitzvah, a traditional Jewish coming-of-age ceremony, even though Becky was nonverbal and developmentally disabled. To our surprise, our rabbi wholeheartedly agreed. But for many families we knew, the story depicted in Thirteen was their painful reality—met with rejection, resistance, and the exclusion of their loved ones from religious and cultural milestones. Ironically, we later learned that our own rabbi had once struggled with these very beliefs. He had initially resisted inclusion, stuck in tradition, until his own grandson was diagnosed with a disability. My mother, unknowingly, became part of his transformation, helping him shift from denial to understanding. By the time Becky’s Bat Mitzvah arrived, he had changed in ways none of us could have imagined.

Though Thirteen is rooted in the Jewish community, its message is universal: how do we honor tradition while making space for progress and inclusion? The tension between preserving the past and embracing change exists in every culture and faith. My hope is that Thirteen not only honors my mother’s and sister’s extraordinary spirit but also helps people in both the disability and Jewish communities feel seen, valued, and celebrated.

Ultimately, I wrote Thirteen because I have always been struck by the power of one voice—how one person’s determination can ignite change and carve a path for inclusion. My mother wasn’t trying to be a trailblazer; she was simply a devoted mother who believed her daughter deserved to experience life fully. And yet, her quiet resilience and unwavering love reshaped our family, our community, and continues to inspire those around her. This film is my way of honoring that legacy.